March 28, 2009
Listening to Daughtry
Fasting from Television
Questioning how everything is going to work out
Hearing God tell me… “Just do what you do and I will do what I do!”
Still having a hard time trusting myself…still questioning
God rips my heart apart today and encourages the hardest to reach places
Compromise haunts me
Thinking I am too vulnerable at times… and at other times not really vulnerable at all
The LAUNCH is really close………gulp
I was duped into believing that hand lotion was actually hand sanitizer
Hands still smell like pomegranate but elbows less ashy
Realizing how difficult it is to not use punctuation
OUT
March 11, 2009
I set out on a journey several months ago to be apart of a movemet that would change the world. I left a good job with good people risking everything to pursue a dream. That dream is has been in the distant future…eclipsed by “real life” issues like getting a job, paying bills, and dealing with busted car windows and attacks from the enemy.
This past weekend was a full of peaks and valleys…emotional rises and falls that you would expect over the course of a year all happened in a mere 72 hours. I wake up early Friday morning to get some needed overtime when I stepped to my car door I stepped on my window. Someone had busted it out. That turned out to be the lightest blow of the day. A long time close friend of mine was arrested on incredibly serious charges. I can’t and won’t express anything on here other than my heart breaks for all involved.
Then the pendulum swings high…
Northbridge Church… our first pre-launch was this Sunday… we showed up at the storage unit to load the first round of gear at 6am. We learned so much about our new facility…that you can never have too many extensions cords..about how when the time changes alarm clocks don’t automatically reset…about how difficult this dream really will be. We were lost…and totally dependant on God… seems like a scary and beautiful place to be.
February 12, 2009
So that day just arrived. That sad day when everything begins to go downhill.
Today I almost walked out of my apartment without pants on. I never thought it would happen, but it did.
I was getting ready to go to the gym when it occured to me I needed to put shorts on before leaving the house. Next I will be sitting in a home where pants are optional to gowns. Yikes
February 6, 2009
1. I had an invisible friend when I was 12.
2. I wanted to be a Hip Hop star.
3. I stole things a lot as a youngster
4. I stole a Shaq rookie card from Josh, who is now my pastor.
5. I slept almost a whole summer in an unairconditioned storage shed.
6. I have read at least 50 pages of some book…I am sure of it.
7. Right now I am loving Tyrone Wells…look him up!
8. I am apart of a team that is launching a church in Northern Chattanooga
9. I would sleep till 12pm everyday if I had my way.
10. I am a neat freak
11. Basketball is my first love, Football is now my current love…sports anyway.
12. I once stayed up all night and cleaned my best friend’s room
13. I use butt swiffers…post wipe flushable moist towelettes….you like it
14. Skylar and I are going to start a sports talk show where the top plays are recreated by Pee Wee Football Players
15. I hate having things in my pocket.
16. Some days I miss Youth Ministry…
17. At one point in my life I would eat an entire large Papa Johns Pizza in one sitting.
18. As much as I love to sleep in I try to get to work early…real early.
19. Peter Pan Honey Roast Peanut Butter is so good…if it were contaminated I would still eat it.
20. I got told today that I don’t sound like a Youth Pastor…and in a cool way!
21. I am by no means a good guitarist or vocalist…but I love to lead worship.
22. I once convinced my roommate Mike to wear a TuTu and and tank top screaming, “I am a pretty pretty princess!!” He almost got beat up.
23. I got spankings when I was younger for things I didn’t do.
24. I love mid 90’s gangsta rap…if you don’t like it…I will bust a cap
25. I have a dog, Buddy, who could win the ugliest dog competition.
December 23, 2008
November 20, 2008
Consider that your warning…
I got an email from someone asking about what I thought about love and sex…this is my response (unedited)
Well I think this is a difficult question considering I do not understand the context from which it was formed.
Love is foundational to all relationships. But there is more than one understanding of love. You wouldn’t tell a husband that you “love” him the same way you would tell your mother you “love” her or the same way you would tell someone you “love” pizza.
Here is how love really breaks down. (outta memory sorry if details are off, the main ideas are accurate) 1) philos- a deep friendship kind of love, companionship…like in Philadelphia (city of brotherly love). 2) storge- a bond of love that exists in a family 3) eros- a sexual love shared between lovers (erotic) 4) agape- love that has NO conditions (it is a love that chooses to love regardless of if love is returned) this is the love-word that God uses to describe his love for his people. It is an ultimate embodiment of all the loves.
We tend to equate love and sex in our society. We think that we cannot love without sex, but it is a cheapened version of love. Sex is a wonderful thing and a powerful thing. It is so wonderful that it captures out thoughts and demands our attention. It is so powerful that can create life and also has the power to tear our souls apart when it is abused.
Anytime our flesh has sex (of any kind: self/mutual masturbation/oral/ etc) it causes our souls to weld itself to another. This is the reason that rape and sexual abuse is so devastating because it takes what should only be given. When our souls weld together and are torn apart it leaves incredible damage. It causes hurts and doubts and confusion and leaves nothing behind. Now that is when sex is unhealthy and at the wrong time. So what is the RIGHT time?
Well because of the damage it causes to our souls when the welding is ripped apart…it makes sense that the one you would share that experience with would be a lover whom with you had a mutual lifelong commitment. A marriage commitment.
If I had multiple sexual partners and wanted to share the rest of my life with someone I would be opening up my soul to them and they would see all the damage and insecurities left behind by previous lovers. This would be incredibly difficult to work through as a couple. Love is deeper and entirely more important than sex. Sex is wonderful and great, in the right context where it can create WANTED life and is a reflection of two souls becoming one. But LOVE is the foundation of all. When a person shuts down love they become cold and driven and never allow anyone in. When a person seeks love in their flesh and not in their soul (only God can reveal this to you) they then open up themselves to any lover who simply says words that easy to say but tough to live out. This kind of love has NO commitment because they would find it difficult to be faithful in marriage due to their never-ending desire to hear (feel) “i love you” where ever they could get it.
To say “I love you” is easy…anyone could say it. But how does one show it? If you ever saw A KNIGHT’S TALE: Jocelyn tells Will that anyone can say I will win for you…but the test of real love is will he LOSE for her. The word “passion” mean “how much pain will you endure for what you desire” (The Passion of the Christ) The real test of love is the denial of our fleshly wants to make sure our souls are protected.
I know it is long, but I hope it stirs up some thoughts for you.
